giving up the cape

When I was working at CoxHealth in the marketing department, we talked about a children’s hospital “marketing strategy” that got a lot of media interest. Window washers at a children’s hospital wore superhero attire while washing the windows one day to attract attention and excite children inside the hospital’s walls. At the time, I thought- what a cute idea!! I bet that really brightened the kids’ day!

I have also heard of people taking capes to hospitals for kids. I’m not saying this is a bad idea, and I may be reading too much into it, but I wonder if children really thought about what that means.  I wonder if for a second they thought they needed to be superheroes. 

You must trust. You must have faith. God won’t give you more than you can handle. 

Those phrases have caused me to cringe in the last few weeks about as much as they have brought comfort. I know many times, they come out of love and honest thought. I know that they are true (except the last one- I’ll get to that), but at a time of such uncertainty, they are much easier said than done. 

As a little girl, your dad is your superhero. He can do anything-reach anything-open anything-fix anything. And when he can’t, it shocks you. It’s hard to see this superhero take off the cape and actually be a real person with fears of their own. As the now “adult” daughter of a superhero dad, it is hard to take that cape and put it on myself. When hard times hit, the world often expects people to deal with it well. 

My immediate response for my pain is to apologize- apologize that others have to see that pain and apologize that others have to feel it. My mind keeps flashing back to the story of Lazarus in John 11, specifically when Jesus approached Mary and Martha knowing full well that he could and would raise Lazarus from the dead. The girls knew who Jesus was. They knew what he was capable of, but he didn’t show up in time. Their brother was gone. When Jesus saw their grief, he did not tell them that everything was going to be okay, that they needed more faith, that they needed to pull it together. He didn’t question who they trusted. He wept. He knew the pain of his children, and his heart hurt with them. 

One day, there will be no more tears, as Revelation 21:4 says. That day isn’t today. I’m not telling you that I walk around crying all day long. Sadness is not an emotion to hide though. In some form, we are all hurting. We are all fighting battles, and as Christians, we are called to glorify the Lord through them. How can we do that if no one knows about it? Church, be real. Be authentic in your joys and pains, and don’t forget who brings both. 

I am so thankful that my Jesus wears the cape around my house. I’m so thankful that the pressures of the cape aren’t on our shoulders. It’s been a joy watching my dad read his Bible every day and really wrestle with trusting the Lord. When people say, God won’t give you more than you can handle, part of me just wants to throw my arms up in outrage. I can’t handle this. This is beyond what I can “handle.” Only the Lord can handle this, carry me through this. And that is what he is doing. He isn’t fluffily (is that a word??) holding my hand..he is carrying me. 

Today, I am thanking God for the blessing of holy tears. Tears that draw me to Him. Tears that cause me to cry out to Him. Tears that come from brokenness. Tears that force dependance. 

Dad has a pretty serious surgery scheduled for tomorrow, and he will have to stay overnight for a couple of days at least. Bless the nurses’ hearts that have to tend to him. As a former Walmart executive, he is used to having things “right now.” Please continue to pray with us for his healing. We know there is still cancer in his body, so we are praying fervently that there is no growth as he heals from his first surgery and this second one. 

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14