Thief of Joy
"Comparison is the thief of joy." --Theodore Roosevelt
I am still trying to decide if this [blog] is something I want to make public. Honestly, I like the privacy that I feel in not sharing the nitty gritty of my life. I love writing. A lot of people don't get that, but it helps me understand what I actually think. When I type something out, I am able to digest it, understand it, and really develop my thoughts into something that I personally understand...and I don't get to do a lot of it at my current job. This is my outlet for now. On the other end of things- Part of me also feels this could be a connecting place for someone. My goal is not to reach multitudes of people with craft tutorials and fashion advice. Sure, that stuff is fun..and maybe I'll throw a little in when I think a certain outfit is super cute, but my goal is to understand my thoughts and document my life. There's no way I can consistently keep a journal (I've tried..it lasted 3 days max). This is the next best thing.
Not a whole lot has been going on since my last post. Tye and I have talked a lot recently about our "future." It is hard not to with everything going on around us. Many of our friends are buying houses, having babies, and establishing themselves in careers. All of that is FANTASTIC, and believe me, we are thrilled for them. However, it is hard to look at our lives and see the school loans, small apartment, and uncertainty of the next few months. Comparison truly is the thief of joy. Happiness is not just going to show up when we have all of those things (house, babies, etc). Happiness is recognizing and appreciating what we have right now.
Many times, I find myself comparing what we have to those who have more when I should be grateful that I have many things others are praying for- a warm home, my health, a full-time job with benefits, an incredible husband who loves and supports me unconditionally...etc.
Contentedness is not something I have mastered.
While many things have me excited for the future, I am trying extremely hard to focus on the things I have today. I want to cherish every moment that Tye and I have as "just the two of us." I know that someday I will realize just how important these days are.
My deepest struggle right now is understanding my heart. Many of our friends and family know the deep desire Tye and I have to adopt. That calling has only intensified in the last few months. The more I see pictures of children who need families and read blogs of women who have written about the process, my heart aches. Nothing in my life has ever kept me up the way adoption does. Nothing has ever stirred my heart more. It scares me. It excites me. It makes me anxious. I am learning to practice patience, and it hurts my heart that we seemingly can't do anything right now. I don't understand why the Lord has chosen us to adopt, and I don't know why He has placed it on my heart so heavily right now. Sometimes I catch myself praying for our adoption process and the journey that's in front of us unknowingly. I am so thankful that the Lord has placed it so close to my heart that I just find myself in a state of prayer. Adoption is not something we consciously decided to do because we think it will be fun. It is something we feel led to do, because it is the most incredible picture of our Father's love for us. We have no idea what the process looks like. We have absolutely NO idea how the funds will fall into place, but we do know that God has orchestrated everything. We trust that He has a plan and will allow us glimpses as we are ready.
I am still trying to decide if this [blog] is something I want to make public. Honestly, I like the privacy that I feel in not sharing the nitty gritty of my life. I love writing. A lot of people don't get that, but it helps me understand what I actually think. When I type something out, I am able to digest it, understand it, and really develop my thoughts into something that I personally understand...and I don't get to do a lot of it at my current job. This is my outlet for now. On the other end of things- Part of me also feels this could be a connecting place for someone. My goal is not to reach multitudes of people with craft tutorials and fashion advice. Sure, that stuff is fun..and maybe I'll throw a little in when I think a certain outfit is super cute, but my goal is to understand my thoughts and document my life. There's no way I can consistently keep a journal (I've tried..it lasted 3 days max). This is the next best thing.
Not a whole lot has been going on since my last post. Tye and I have talked a lot recently about our "future." It is hard not to with everything going on around us. Many of our friends are buying houses, having babies, and establishing themselves in careers. All of that is FANTASTIC, and believe me, we are thrilled for them. However, it is hard to look at our lives and see the school loans, small apartment, and uncertainty of the next few months. Comparison truly is the thief of joy. Happiness is not just going to show up when we have all of those things (house, babies, etc). Happiness is recognizing and appreciating what we have right now.
Many times, I find myself comparing what we have to those who have more when I should be grateful that I have many things others are praying for- a warm home, my health, a full-time job with benefits, an incredible husband who loves and supports me unconditionally...etc.
Contentedness is not something I have mastered.
While many things have me excited for the future, I am trying extremely hard to focus on the things I have today. I want to cherish every moment that Tye and I have as "just the two of us." I know that someday I will realize just how important these days are.
My deepest struggle right now is understanding my heart. Many of our friends and family know the deep desire Tye and I have to adopt. That calling has only intensified in the last few months. The more I see pictures of children who need families and read blogs of women who have written about the process, my heart aches. Nothing in my life has ever kept me up the way adoption does. Nothing has ever stirred my heart more. It scares me. It excites me. It makes me anxious. I am learning to practice patience, and it hurts my heart that we seemingly can't do anything right now. I don't understand why the Lord has chosen us to adopt, and I don't know why He has placed it on my heart so heavily right now. Sometimes I catch myself praying for our adoption process and the journey that's in front of us unknowingly. I am so thankful that the Lord has placed it so close to my heart that I just find myself in a state of prayer. Adoption is not something we consciously decided to do because we think it will be fun. It is something we feel led to do, because it is the most incredible picture of our Father's love for us. We have no idea what the process looks like. We have absolutely NO idea how the funds will fall into place, but we do know that God has orchestrated everything. We trust that He has a plan and will allow us glimpses as we are ready.
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